OH I feel so good! today was wonderful, despite the usual annoyances with being single on valentine's day. Everyone has given rave reviews about the show, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I always dreamed of my senior show being like this; a little girl even asked for my autograph! The big cast party is here on Saturday, and I'm a little nervous that I might cry and realize that I won't do another show with these amazing people. But for now I just have a lot of planning and buying to do.
Although I do have a major crush that is very unrequited, things certainly seem to be looking up. I've gotten over the "loss" of friends and realized that I need nothing more than the friends I have now. They're constantly supportive of every decision I make and are never afraid to tell me what they think. I am SO thankful for you five, you know exactly who you are. I'm currently on the lookout for a new job, and in the process of scheduling my road test so I can FINALLY get my license. I'm looking forward to this vacation so I can spend quality time having movie parties and sleepovers, and also get two projects done.
I hope I stay this happy for a while.

about not being able to eat, it sucks.
i really really really need to loose more weight. i mean, my diet went pretty well until today when i found out one of my costumes is stomach-less. yes, i wear a bra.FAB!

i need to know the reason i feel like my life is falling apart. slowly but surely, my friends are disappearing. dan doesn't talk to me anymore, Hillary has better people to hang out with, and everyone else doesn't have the time for me. i'm VERY STRESSED out for the show and apparently people don't think i'm doing a good job. great, isn't it? like i always say, if sarah and allison ever left, i would die. LITERALLY. if i don't hurt myself today, i never will.

I feel like 2006 was a "milestone" year for me. One where I changed, turned an important age, learned new things, and made new and amazing friends.
Although it started out with quite the bit of drama, all of the petty problems it caused are now fixed and relationships stronger because of it. The end of the school year turned out wonderfully when I learned my class rank and achieved high grades on my finals and AP exams. But the summer was when it all started. As dumb and cliche as it might sound, Birdie changed my life. Or, the people who I met did.
Gene: You have taught me so much about who I am as a performer, choreographer, teacher, and a person. You've supported me in everything I do and I'm not sure how I can ever even begin to repay you.
Rosie: Thinking back to the first time I met you, there's no way I could even begin to imagine the friendship we would have. I got annoyed cause you didn't ask gene a question I told you to ask him. So I turned to the girl sitting next to me at callbacks and said "She's taking a really long time." and the girl replied "She's my best friend." Obviously the girl was Molly, and i was really embarrassed. Now I say you're MY best friend.

gonna edit this later.

WARNING. this entry may be offensive to people who are dumb.
okay so i hate situations involved with boys. how come every time i like someone they kinda-like me or like me but dont do anything about it or change their minds a few times? I mean, please. its not that goddamn difficult. its so pathetic that i still like "mich". stephanie is convinced we should get married because we fight and just are stupid all the time, but i really think he just does it cause we're friends. not cause he likes me(as much as i wish that was the case) but because we're friends. steph says that her sat logic and reasoning are right, and that he's in love with me, and that we're gonna get married and live happily ever after. i'm just praying that her 2100 means she's right.

i also am completely and totally done with "bobo"(yes, allie and i made up that name. but no, i cannot explain it or it will give away their identity. but basically, they're just a big fat ugly idiot.). they pretend to be great friends with me but are sososoosso incredibly fake everytime we speak. in the hallway, i dont get "hello" or "hey". i get a glare or a half smile. they think that they're special and wonderful at everything and also that we used to be best friends. not true. they think that my best friends like them better than they like me. again, not true. they pretend to know everything about everything when they do not. bobo is apparently too good to participate in activities that they brag about consantly. i am forced to embarrass myself while they get to sit and watch. BOBO IS SO GODDAMN STUPID. STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE SMART AND FUNNY AND BEAUTIFUL AND NICE. bobo is obnoxious and rude and i wish that i would never have to deal with them again. but unfortunately, we live in the same small town, hang out with the same people(well, not so much since bobo reportedly started smoking pot. i hope it rots their brains out) and are in many of the same activities.
that felt good.

i miss birdie. i've probably said this a million times but its so incredibly true. everyone, well mostly everyone, was really great. rosie and molly especially. i felt like i could tell anyone in the cast how i was feeling and they could help me through it and be my friend for a long time. i hope they all will be. but its just so hard living so far away from them. i mean, we all have our own stuff we have to do so we can't see each other every weekend or talk on the phone all the time. this weekend is rosie's play and i wanna go see it but i'm not sure that my parents will drive me or that i have time to go. i haven't spent like quality time with her. at emily's everyone was crazy and i was with chris mostly. at rocky she was with her friends and i wasn't too happy so it was wierd. i feel like i'm drifting from her like i did with kim and i hate it. rosie and i had such a strong bond, i never felt so close to anyone ever. i just wish we could build it back up again. i want to talk to her like everyday and just tell her everything. at school, most of my friends are too busy with their own stuff and get mad at me for stupid things or whatever. sarah's pretty much my saneness. i just wish it could be summer again. i need those people.

i did this at the beginning of the summer, i'll do it again with the same people.

1. to write this one gives me the biggest relief. Before, I said how scared I was that I couldn't seem to go on without you. Well, I took a step forward and now you're back in my life. I can tell you everything and often go on the computer just to talk to you. it hurt so bad when we were apart, and it feels so amazing to be back on the same level with you. you really are one of my best friends and i love you.

2. a few weeks ago, i would've said we were the total opposite of the beginning of the summer. for a while, i was afraid i was losing you. i think we understand each other now, and just need to make time. i want to talk to you and be with you everyday but sometimes its really hard. i dont have to say this, cause you know that you're still my bestest friend and i love you. totally.

3. i'm not sure i have secrets to share with you. you're too naive. you need to learn how to be a badass and lie sometimes. theres no need to always tell mom everything. just go with the flow.

4. college will be good for you. we'll have more to talk about, and maybe you'll gain weight. (hopefully!) i might even admit that i miss you. but only a little.

5. thank the lord you're gone. i dont want to keep in touch with you. i dont want to know how you're doing. i dont want you to come home and visit. i dont want to be involved with you because you'll ruin my life again. and it feels AMAZING to not have you around.

6. you still confuse me, but i love you. i spend my days thankful that i'm no longer on your bad side. you're hilarious and you always make me feel better when i've had a bad day. plus, your boobs are giant.

7. why don't you talk to me anymore? i IM you, and i never get a response. i post a comment on your myspace saying that i miss you, and you never tell me you miss me too. sad, how we drifted apart so quickly. i want to meet your boyfriend, eat chinese food on your couch and do all the fun stuff we used to do. you'll read this, and hopefully figure out its you.

8.i still have a crush on you? AH this is the same entry as before. you're soo cute. but now, you're confusing as well. you tell one person you like me, and another that you dont? just decide, honeybunches.

9. sometimes, i'm embarrased to admit how much you mean to me. kids at school might think i'm dorky or that you'll treat me better than you will them. and you probably will, but i love being your "daughter". this summer was the most amazing summer of my life, and i really mean that. you brought me into a community where i met the most amazing people who live on long island. i miss seeing you everyday in person(i see you everyday on long island paneling and now autoworld commercials)

10. you're a big fat bitch. one day last week, you just decided to give me an attitude. thats not okay. i will not take that from you. i plan to be a bitch right back.

11. i am still SO lucky to have met you. you give me great advice, and i can count on you for anything and everything. i can't even explain how much i treasure your friendship and love you. i wish more than anything in the world that you lived closer so i could spend every minute with you, laughing and crying. dont' change.

12. I'll do this one for the both of you(again). first one: you're cute. you always make me happy when i'm around you. thanks for that. second: this year has been awesome. i love being your best friend. we have so much in common and we just go together. i just wish one thing: that i could talk to you about boys. i feel like when i tell you i like someone, or that i think someone likes me, you feel offended, or something. and then act like they would never like me and make me feel like crap.

13. where did you go? we have a lack of giant asses in dance class.

14. you're too much. you somehow manage to make everything we do fun and hide the fact that you're stressed out of your mind. i know its so hard for you with them, but i admire you so much.

15. today, you were a bitch. but i love you so much. its hard, being this close and knowing everything about one another. but we've gotten this far-there's nothing left to do but stay friends. i know we will.

UGH i hate this so much. i hate being lonely and i hate getting different opinions from my friends and i hate feeling pathetic. i mean, i haven't had a real boyfriend since SOPHOMORE year. however you may argue, it still makes me feel disgusting and unwanted. people tell me i'm pretty, but that doesn't make me feel like i'm loved. this is stupid, but its really how i feel and it makes me upset when everyone of my best friends talks about their boyfriends or hookups or whatever. i mean, do i need to be a slut and go to parties and get drunk to start a relationship? i just feel depressed and lonely. and it sucks.

so maybe i'm depressed? probably about colleges. i was really quiet at rosie's and she asked what was wrong but i didn't know. i had so much fun though, on saturday. i can't believe how much i miss everyone. i hugged rosie, max and chris for like an hour each. emily's party is soo soon! wooot for wilma, betty and fred.
ILOVECAP.

i can't deal with this. i really don't think i can do it. the whole thing is making me upset, and sarah's the only one who understands. i almost cried on homecoming, i'll have you know. i did nothing NOTHING at all, and out of nowhere you treat me like shit. fine, treat me like shit. but dont treat me like shit AND try to steal my best friend. that's crossing the line. sarah's upstate today, so i can't even call her to talk about it. UGHHHH i hate you. i really and truly hate you right now.

school has been going well. really well, my schedule is awesome, although i would love to have more classes with hillary. its SO good to not have to be awake for 1st 2nd or 3rd period. then i wake up for 4th and go back to sleep for 5th. by then, sarah's with me so its a good time. cheerleading just keeps getting better and better. we made so much progress today at practice, our dance is going to be FUCKING AWESOME. watch out, kickline. loll they're no competiton for us.
gene is on amc tonight and tomorrow! that's so exciting, but it makes me miss everyone so much. rosie has been ignoring my messages, i hope by accident. she did text me today though, i miss her so much. and i HAVE to go see rocky, i just need time to do it. hopefully, my boss will call and tell me if i can work one day a week or i have to quit. i dont care right now, just let me know.
the first football game is friday! everyone come out for it! community gathering starts at 5, the game starts at 7. they'll be some sexy ass cheerleaders there. OMG IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME FOR SOME RVC TO COME.
ahhhh im happy!<3

i cannot even believe that we start school tomorrow. i can't believe that i haven't seen rosie, molly, or chris for over 3 weeks. and i can't believe i haven't moved to rvc yet. it sounds kind of rediculous, i know. but this is just how i feel. i love them so much. looking at their pictures makes me so upset that i wont be able to see them every day like i did the entire summer. talking is sometimes just not enough. well, that's my sob story. i think they'll read this so, i just want them to know that they're my best friends and i love them so much. SOMUCH.

Basic "You" questions!

Height?: my doctor is stupid. EVERYONE knows i'm 5'5'' and one quarter. she insists that i'm less than 5'5''. friggin idiot.


Wish you were taller or shorter, or are you set?: I'm good. shorter than most boys, but not a pudgy little nothing.

Weight?: too heavy.

Would you like to lose any, or gain any?: lord i wish i could lose some weight. i mean, i'm not gigantic, but it would make me feel more confident.

Do you NEED to lose any or gain any, or does the doctor say you're fine?: like i said, i'm not gigantic.

Do you watch your weight?: its so hard, you know?

Do you eat healthy?: relatively. my mother keeps me in check.

Do you have a big appetite?: depends on what the food is. some gross thing like pork or crabs, i'll eat nothing. but jew food, i could eat for months.

Describe your hair in one humanistic word!: by humanistic do you mean excluding words like strawberryblondeishbrownishlongandsometimesstraight?

What color is it?: tetian!

How long is it?: uhh long? idk.

Whens the last time you cut it?: one or two months ago. i think one.

What's the most you've ever gotten cut off?: uhm not much. 3 or 4 inches. i dont really do short hair well.

Is it straight, wavy, or curly?: naturally, wavy. and everyone else seems to think it looks good. i on the other hand, hate it when i dont do anything to it so i straighten it.

What is your dominant eye color?: i have 2398 eye colors. some lady at old navy told me they were gorgeous. everytime i saw her(she was there for over an hour).

Do you wear a lot of make up?: i try not to. but i LOVE putting on stage makeup.

Do you ever take "equipment" with you incase it rubs off or runs?: i never use "equpiment" i carry mascara, thats it.

On what occasions do you wear mascara?: everysingledayofmylife.

On what occasions do you wear eyeliner?: everyday minus when i'm super lazy.

On what occasions do you wear eyeshadow?: parties, shows etc.

On what occasions do you wear lip color?: lip shimmer. shimmer is key.

On what occasions do you wear blush?: all the time. it makes you glow.

Where does the blush go, anyways?: you smile(no, you don't make the fish face, that's old news) and that shows you where your apples are. thats where blush goes.

Is a girl who doesn't know that a tom-boy?: uninformed, certainly. but not necessarily a tomboy. a girl who doesn't know that probably doesn't do anything with her hair either.

Is lipliner gross?: black lipliner is gross. if it matches your lip color, i love it. makes color stay on longer, as a matter of fact.

Do you prefer lip gloss or lip stick?: oh gloss. with sparkles.

Can you do your own make up or other peoples make up better?: mine is better. but i'm FAB at other peoples. i did roxy and kerri's for jessie's wedding.

What's your favorite shampoo brand?: garnier. its the most fun to say, too.

What's your favorite toothpaste brand?: whatever my mom buys. i dont care much.

What do you prefer to smell like?: clean. i dont wear perfume, i just like to smell like my soap and deoderant.

Secret, Dove, or Lady Speed-Stick?: lady speed-stick.

Do you shave?: omg yeah. ew. i was at a waterpark in virginia, and this girl had GROSS armpits.
...with a venus razor?: totally!

Where do you shave?: in the shower?

Do those things like Nair and Veet actually work?: never used them. they seem immensely easier than shaving though.

How many piercings do you have, and wear?: two. one in each ear.

What's your style?: "alexa."

Where is your favorite place to shop?: old navy!

What do you wear when you aren't planning to go out?: sweatpants

Do you dress appropriate for your age?: no, i wear mom jeans.

Do you dress appropriate for your gender?: no, i wear men's t-shirts.

Who are you more comfortable lying to, your parents, a teacher, or friend?: teacher.

Have you ever...
Done something, looked back, and realized it was illegal?: yes.

Done something illegal while you were aware that it was illegal?: perhaps? no, def.

Done something illegal just for the purpose of being a rebel, and illegal?: no, but i know many people that would and do.

Put yourself or others in serious danger?: not purposefully.

Snuck out of your house?: HA.

Snuck into somebody else's house?: never.

Snuck people into your house?: nope.

Attended an unsupervised party?: um, i dont know.

Had one?: no.

Been on the streets past 1?: probably.

Been on somebody's roof?: mine! and when i move to rvc, mj's.

Egged / TPed / Trashed somebody's house?: jghs varsity cheerleaders refer to it as "decorating for homecoming". its much more refined. we use streamers.

Smoked weed socially?: gross.

Smoked weed by yourself?: again, gross.

Drank socially?: i'm not big on that.

Drank by yourself?: depressed much?

Gotten in a fist fight?: no.

Been in a limo?: mhm!

Thought about suicide?: nooo.

Been lost in a big city?: hahahah kim<3. we weren't lost. just confused.

Had a concussion?: nope.

Passed out?: i probably will. my mother and sister both have. on a number of occasions.

Mooned / Flashed / Streaked?: haha no.

Made a fat person cry?: ahaha! fat? why fat? i dont think so.

Do you still have...
Your happiness?: exceptionally!
Your sanity?: don't think i ever had it.
Your innocence?: TOTALLY.
Your childhood?: most of it.
Your grandparents?: 2.
A lot of friends?: <333333333
A lot of food?: my parents love me.
YOUR LOVE FOR ME???: as always, loverly.

Post Anonymously:
1. a question/something you've always wondered about me.
2. a music suggestion.
3. a compliment.
4. a criticism.
5. a hope for the future.
6. a hair style that you think would look good on me. (and dont say how it is now!!!)

BYE BYE BIRDIE @ CAP
Aug 10 @ 8:00pm
Aug 12 @ 4pm
Aug 13th @7:30pm
Aug 16th @ 8:00pm
Aug 19th @ 4:00pm
Aug 20th @ 7:00pm

FOR TICKETS & DIRECTIONS CALL 516 694-3330

They're working very hard, and they deserve an audience.

LOVE THESE KIDS......

CAST & CREW

Director - Gene Forman
Musical Director - John Riss
Choreographer - Alexa Schuessler
Stage Manager - Rosie Valant
Crew - Tom Mckenna/ Ed Sottile
Director's LiL Helper - Kayla Skye Forman

Albert Peterson- Andrew J. Beck
Rose Alvarez- Melissa Rapelje
Kim Macafee- Molly Bier
Mrs. Macafee- Alexa Schuessler/Christina Andretta
Mr. Macafee- Jerry Callahan/ Stephen Lefayt
Randolph/Randee- Michael Recchia/ Nicole Nazzaro
Conrad- Brian Landisman
Hugo Peapody- Mikey Verre/Max Bennett
Ursula Merkle- Emily Edwards
Mae Peterson- Arielle Cooperman/Diana Levinson
Mrs. Merkle- Kristen Maldonado
Gloria Rasputin- Kenna Koeingsberger/Olivia Bithorn
Harvey Johnson- Eddie Sottile/Josh Cahn
Mr. Johnson- Eddie Sottile/Josh Cahn
Mayor- Trevor Firetog
Mayor's Wife- Beth Sulsky/Eliana Lichtman
Maude- Stephen Lefayt
Deborah Sue- Michelle Layton/Kiera Egan
Alice- Cassandra Fiore/Melissa Kleinman
Margie- Tara Kirk/Jenna Becker
Helen- Wendy Lebowitz/Michelle Layton
Nancy- Veronica Fox/ Adara Mifsud
Penelope- Olivia Bithorn/Jackie Primack
Voice Over's - Olivia Bithorn, Rachel Abrams
Train Conducter - Brian Maldonado
Female Swing - Michele Layton
Male Swing - Pedro Martinez
Ed Sullivan V/O - Muscles Marinara

Teen Ensemble: Rachel Abrams, Jenna Becker, Max Bennett, Olivia Bithorn, Josh Cahn, Al Calderon, Kiera Egan, Aviv Elkarat, Cassandra Fiore, Jordan Firstman, Veronica Fox, Kristen Greig, Melissa Katz, Sheryl Katz, Tara Kirk, Melissa Kleinman, Kenna Koeingsberger, Jesse Kotler, Michelle Layton, Wendy Lebowitz, Steve Lefayt, Eliana Lichtman, Adara Mifsud, Brian Maldonado, Kristen Maldonado, Nicole Nazzaro, Jacqueline Primack, Allen Saltzman, Alexa Schuessler, Eddie Sottile, Beth Sulsky, Rosie Valant, Kelly Yven, Ryan Zeigler

Special Acknowledgment to: The fabulous Yulaney ladies, Karen & Megan, the dancing mama, Kristina King, the hard working, soon to be High School Seniors, Alexa Schuessler & Rosie Valant,& the incredibly beautiful Lisa Forman

nvalid.

Best Bulletin I've seen in months

Body: ok heres what you do, write down 15 things that you wish you could say to some people, but would never have the guts to. And don't say who its to. Thats the mystery! Then re-post so your friends can play. Beware, these can get intense.

1. it scares me that i think about you all the time. it scares me that i seem to miss you so much, and yet we both can't get up enough courage to even say hi once in a while. i miss talking to you everyday, leaving you funny voicemails, and sitting next to you when we go out to eat. i feel so guilty for ruining something that could've, should've been great. you won't ever read this, but i just want to say that i'm truly sorry and i wish that, well, i could somehow speak to you.

2. guiltily, i'm really happy you're distancing yourself from her. its given me the chance to spend more time with you, and make up for lost time during this year. whatever we're doing, i always have fun with you, and i know that nothing will ever change between us. the thing i look forward most about college is calling you every night and talking about boys, work, roomates, whatever. and visiting you at your job at a newspaper in the city.

3. You're my best friend. i probably dont tell you this enough, but i love you. i can't thank you enough for being a brat to mom and begging so we can have a sleepover. or listening to me. or becoming a cheerleader! i'm so proud of you.

4. i think things between us are slowly changing for the better. i remember what a brat you used to be, crying all the time over stupid things. i think most of the time i was(am) really jealous of you, and sometimes its hard for me to accept the fact that you may be better than me. and i wish you'd gain some friggin weight so i dont have to be the fat cousin.

5. why do you treat me like shit? people tell me they can see the chemistry between us, and so can i. this year was the worst, for us i think. all the crazy drama and your idea that you can't go to college with a girlfriend. how about just get through the school year? i'm sad that we didnt last, but i'm happy too. because i dont really know how good it was for me to have you so involved in my life. you confused and screwed up a lot of things for me, and i still can't decide if you were worth it. i do value your friendship though, to a high level. when things weren't "romantic" between us, you were always there when i needed you, and sometimes when i wasn't. i want to thank you for that. you're a damn good kisser, though. and a slut.

6. i dont know how to read you. you spread all these rumors about me, over one tiny thing that you weren't even involved in, tell people you're gonna kick my ass, and curse me out. but up front, you've been nothing but sweet. and not too fake either. when i hurt my thumb, you sympathized. at tryouts, you wished me luck. make up your mind!

7. you're the one good thing that came from last summer. we say it was my shoes that you loved so much that brought us together, but i like to think that its our hair. i didn't think i needed another best friend, but there you were. i couldn't have survived without you, and this summer will be hard. thanks. for being amazing.

8.i have a crush on you? ah i dont know. you're so damn cute, i just can't stand it. but again, i dont know how to address these feelings, and tell anyone, let alone you. i'm not sure how youd do as a boyfriend, i know that things havent worked out with you and girls in the past. we'll see how this summer goes, i may be visiting a certain court very often.

9. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until i saw you that way. this past year, i told people i hated you, and perhaps then i did. but i think we bonded this year, and we surely will this summer. i'm so glad i get to be your "partner" as you say in this production, and i just have to get used to the name change. i know you'll get through this hard time, and the whole cast will help you.

10. i love that i can talk to you about anything. i love that we can call each other crazy names, get each other cheap presents, or just play video games toghether. i've been wondering lately, though. why is it that i've never been to your house? i feel like we're so close, but you never invite me anywhere. oh well, i've found number eleven!

11. i feel SO lucky to have met you. although it was only like what? 2 days ago. yeah. i was incredibly nervous that first day and we talked for so long, about nothing, and i feel like we've been friends forever. i hope everyone else in "the 7" likes me as much as you do, and that i can become, as liv said, 7.5!

12. I'll do this one for the both of you. first one: sometimes, i think you're really shy. but then you shuffblock(?) me, and we laugh. i also think that you're a lunatic. but i'm glad you're my friend. second: i'm kind of tired of being your second choice. it hurts me probably more than you know when you blow me off, or say something horrible to me. and its way too often. i hope that you value our friendship as much as i do, and just don't use me when its convenient.

13. i'm glad you're with him. i really am. i just hope that when we go out, you won't talk about him the way you bragged about your other boyfriends. it gets irritaing, you're lucky i love you.

14. You're the nuttiest, funniest, most patient, most loving person i know. i admire you so much, and i hope that i can be the kind of mother that you are. whenever we come to visit, you have so much planned, and somehow manage to make your four kids happy. i wish we could spend more time together.

15. We've been through miles together. in the beginning, i remember how much i looked forward to hanging out with you after school. we were like sisters then. i also remember somewhere in the middle when i wished that i could not be friends with you anymore. i think i was afraid of your mother. i'm glad i was though, because these past few years we've helped each other out so much. i love you like a sister and we fight like sisters do, which is sometimes really hard. but i'm here. just a phone call away.

how was work?
what a question.
holy shit, today was disgustingly horrible.
here's the story.
okay so i get to huntington and the first thing janice(the lady who was running it) says is, can i see your 2 forms of id. so i show her my shit, whatever and this girl, who i'd already labeled as self centered and fat was like, wait. i dont have my social security card. so janice was like "thats bad, you're gonna have to have a seat." so the rest of us go in the back while the fat girl starts crying. so we sit down in the back, and janice is like "everyone needs to take out their packets and start reading. but first, y'all are over eighteen, correct?" so i tell her that i'm not and she asks if i have my minor's papers. i have absolutely no idea what the fuck minor papers are, and i certainly dont have any so i tell her. "thats bad," she says, "you should take your stuff and go sit in the front of the store with the other girl." i go to the front, and find fatty still crying to her mom on the phone. janice comes in about five minutes, "you two really can't stay here, i'm sorry. you're gonna have to go home." and she calls one of the managers from commack, to tell her the problem. turns out nadina(the manager running it) wants to talk to me, so i get on the phone. she apologizes a few times and asks a few questions like who gave me my paperwork, etc. at this point, i am fuming. not only did i block out my entire day to come to this eight hour orientation, i've already wasted an hour being scolded for something that's not even close to my fault, and both my parents are working so they can't come pick me up. nadina volunteers to come pick up me and fatty, so we sit and wait. my assumptions about this girl turns out to be perfectly correct. she goes on a cruise to "the carribbean or somewhere" every february, "only royal carribbean", is taking her "math B regent" tomorrow, and "got at 1720 on my SATs. yeah, i know. its good."

nadina finally gets there, we get in the car, and double check that we were never even given the forms we were supposed to get notarized and signed. the ride back to commack store was quiet, and fine. we pull into a parking spot right in front, and i get out, shut my door and scream. stupid fat ass slammed my thumb in her door. the genius she is, doesn't understand that my thumb is still in the car, and i'm standing in the parking lot. i have to open her door myself. "ohmygod! ohmygod! i'm so sorry." yeah, im sure you're sorry. my thumb has a gigantic dent in it. we finally get inside the store, get my fucking forms and an ice pack and my dad, who took his lunch hour early, comes to bring me home.

so i get into the house and call my mom and start to make myself lunch cause i'm so tired. i stub my toe, spill juice on the floor and collapse into a crying mess. a good cry, it was. but i was hysterical for at least eight minutes. i got x-rays, and my thumb is not broken, but it hurts and is in a splint. do NOT ask me how i will write a french composition, or a us essay like this. wonderful day? i thought so.

EDIT:
i forgot to add the wonderful fact that i will now be forced to be late to, if not miss, my cousin's graduation, so i can attend another orientation. thank god without janice, and hopefully no fatty either.

i really really hate sadness. today, i went to mr. forman's brother's wake. he was only 33, and left behind a wife and a 4 year old daughter. just seeing mr. forman so upset and sobbing made me cry too. he's one of the strongest people i know, and i've become so close with him. watching people you love cry must be one of the hardest things in life. ms henson, mrs. gellert, and mrs. corso were there. it was good to see how many people care so much about mr. forman, mrs. forman and their family.

on a lighter note, today was really fun. we had a picnic in the park and a lot of people came. then candice and i went to sarah's house and swam in the pool with eugene, cassie, april, amanda and amiee. eugene must have pulled down his pants like 8 times. no, more. i saw him do it 8 times.

1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, middle, and last name.
ayden jackie cole

2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead.
ahhh marlon brando and michael buble.

3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band? What's the name of their first album?
the royals, full throne.

4. You are going to get a free tattoo. Great! What is it? Where?
not getting it. i couldn't be buried in a jewish cemetery if i did

5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it?
you'rree beautiffull

6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to?
wyoming. oh god its beautiful there.

7. You are leaving your country, where would you move to?
england or france

8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?
jane austen. p&p perhaps? not persuasion. i dunno, one of them.

9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you chose?
harryyy potterrr cuz its the first movie to be able to find a real live purple person !!
^ROFLMAO. i love schuesslers.

10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal?:
i'd be a robin. cause they're good luck. um a butterfly, and a manatee. except i'd be smart enough to stay away from boats. i've seen the data.

12. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you like to relive?
i'd be three.

12.5 Which would you least like to relive?
ninth grade. too much drama and sadness.

13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
first, singin in the rain. then 20s.

14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving:
depends. where? with who?

15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?
first a threesome with two famous people, and now a sexual encounter from the past? holy crap.

16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
the one where you guess the words. with your famous partner. who you dont have sex with.

17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity.
only one? holy cow. uh make a wish foundation.

18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban?
shhh. i know i know, its not in the dictionary. but i hate it.

19. You can have 100 million dollars tax free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it?
um no. money cant buy happiness, kduh.

20. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX IF YOU COULD?
QUEL EX?!

21. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
my yosemite one.

22. HAVE YOU KISSED ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
yess

23. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
hahhahahahahhahahhahaha roflmao. thats exactly the opposite of my top 8.

24. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
all. wait, does jesse free count? i've met him and been to his house. so yeah.

25. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
3 or 4.

26. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
mostly

27. ARE YOU SAD RIGHT NOW?
nah

28. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE
YOU HAVE?
a jappy one. didnt we establish this?

29. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
prob not.

30. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDay?
i cant remember.

31. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
something funky.

32. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP YESTERDAY?
earrrly. hillary threw a pillow at me.

33.WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
watching a streetcar named desire. wierd ass movie.

34. HOW MANY OF YOUR EX'S ARE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
4?

35. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU DATED ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
duhhhr 4.

36. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
i really took this survey before.

37. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO?
go to the beach

38. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
two minutes ago.

39. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLING(S)?
mostly.

40. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
confidence.

41. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
clothes! and someone to help me choreograph friggin birdie.

42. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
negative three days.

43. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM (on MySpace)?
no sir. if you have, you're a loser.

44. WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
blanc!

45. LAST THING YOU ATE?
chinese foooooood

46. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
august.

47. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
january.

48. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM SOMEONE?
candice's bracelet.

49. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
monsieur forman. OH MAN. its gonna be so wierd calling him gene. uughh

50. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
myspace

51. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
l'hillary.

52. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD?
indirectly, dan.

53. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
woah. thats a scary question.

54. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK?
iced tea.

55. FAVORITE FOOD?
ice creamm. ohhh i want ralphs.

56. FAVORITE DESSERT?
see above

57. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
oh poop. i really really wanna go.

ahyayaya. no more school!
last night was fun, hill slept over and we had a movie marathon. harriet the spy, singin in the rain, and streetcar named desire. hilarious and fun. love her. today, i ran some errands with mom, and then went to chris's dance recital. everyone was so good. it was really impressive! i haven't seen brian in a while, so that was cool and it was nice to meet dan and courtney. we also found out parts for birdie today, i'm mrs. mac(yes, again). im really really excited. and also, i'm choreographing the whole show by myself which is really really nerve-racking. i'm happy that im gonna meet so many new people, but im very scared that they won't like me, or i'll be too mean when i'm teaching dances, etc. and i'm starting work on wednesday. more new people, more afraid of not liking me. hillary says don't worry about it, and that's what im gonna try to do. this summer is going to be so different from any in the past. hopefully, with CAP, old navy, cheer camp and everything else i'll still have time to see dance girls, and kim, and all my school friends. i hate worrying. i just want to like start rehursals.